bloggin and rants
it's been a long time since i blogged.. almost 2 to 3 months i would say...
you see my point of keeping a blog is to keep all the happy wonderful things that is happening around me and i wont get tired of reading it over and over again and of cos to share it with all of my friends around the world... thou .. lately i found that something somewhere is just not right and everything seems to go down hill and i am going no where...... i am extremely stressed out and has no one that i can relate to. no one to relate my pressure and problem at work cos i dont like to discuss work matter with my colleagues as it would create more tension at work as to determine who is right or who is wrong.. i am just fed up with the negativity at my project site.. there is absolutely no motivation what so ever.
i would love to relate this to my 2 best friend but as distance separates us.. we can hardly chat long enough to tell each others story... sometimes i just dont feel like talking about problems when i am in a good mood.. why bother... but when the pain hits you.... and you cant immediately find a person to talk to.. it is much worst ......... i tried to call but many a time .. the line here sucks and it's difficult talkin where there's a 3 sec laggin on the line........
oh mAN...... help .. i am suffocating here..... i wanted to cry.. but i cant. i cried before and everytime i think about it .. it just makes me sad...
talking about sacrifices... after joining my current company and my current indo assignment.. i have lost many things.. my time with friends, my time with my parents, my time alone doing the things i like... my holidays.. do you know that my project has been delayed 4 months. At first i was planning for a trip to Japan but i had to cancel it due to this project being live that this vry moment...... my cousin went without me... i has miss the opportunity to visit cousin Brian and to attend his wedding... :'( .... then now my colleagues is planning for a trip to tioman.. on the 8th and 9th June... 3 of us got to get back to Malaysia this 31st May and 2 of them got themselves 1 week leave each while i got none.......
not only that due to the double standard of treatin the indo local staffs and the staffs from malaysia.... the indo staffs here.. all of them are.... always... missing in action.. the same applies to current my application team lead..... i requested for one week leave because my another senior wanted to go home to spend the holiday with her daughters due to the school holiday season in Malaysia...... it clashes about 2 days.. therefore my indonesia team lead has to support the project on his own.... for 3 days, one friday and then saturday and sunday.........and he rejected it because... he needs 2 ppl to stand by here... what pains me is that... tomorrow my senior would be heading back to malaysia for the weekend and he is not goin to come in for friday, sat and sunday... meaning leaving me alone to support ?
is this worth it ? i dont know......
you see my point of keeping a blog is to keep all the happy wonderful things that is happening around me and i wont get tired of reading it over and over again and of cos to share it with all of my friends around the world... thou .. lately i found that something somewhere is just not right and everything seems to go down hill and i am going no where...... i am extremely stressed out and has no one that i can relate to. no one to relate my pressure and problem at work cos i dont like to discuss work matter with my colleagues as it would create more tension at work as to determine who is right or who is wrong.. i am just fed up with the negativity at my project site.. there is absolutely no motivation what so ever.
i would love to relate this to my 2 best friend but as distance separates us.. we can hardly chat long enough to tell each others story... sometimes i just dont feel like talking about problems when i am in a good mood.. why bother... but when the pain hits you.... and you cant immediately find a person to talk to.. it is much worst ......... i tried to call but many a time .. the line here sucks and it's difficult talkin where there's a 3 sec laggin on the line........
oh mAN...... help .. i am suffocating here..... i wanted to cry.. but i cant. i cried before and everytime i think about it .. it just makes me sad...
talking about sacrifices... after joining my current company and my current indo assignment.. i have lost many things.. my time with friends, my time with my parents, my time alone doing the things i like... my holidays.. do you know that my project has been delayed 4 months. At first i was planning for a trip to Japan but i had to cancel it due to this project being live that this vry moment...... my cousin went without me... i has miss the opportunity to visit cousin Brian and to attend his wedding... :'( .... then now my colleagues is planning for a trip to tioman.. on the 8th and 9th June... 3 of us got to get back to Malaysia this 31st May and 2 of them got themselves 1 week leave each while i got none.......
not only that due to the double standard of treatin the indo local staffs and the staffs from malaysia.... the indo staffs here.. all of them are.... always... missing in action.. the same applies to current my application team lead..... i requested for one week leave because my another senior wanted to go home to spend the holiday with her daughters due to the school holiday season in Malaysia...... it clashes about 2 days.. therefore my indonesia team lead has to support the project on his own.... for 3 days, one friday and then saturday and sunday.........and he rejected it because... he needs 2 ppl to stand by here... what pains me is that... tomorrow my senior would be heading back to malaysia for the weekend and he is not goin to come in for friday, sat and sunday... meaning leaving me alone to support ?
is this worth it ? i dont know......
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